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self-help

3 Ways to Up Your Game in the New Year

Happy New Year from my family to yours! I hope you all had a fabulous holiday and New Year’s Eve. As we strut into January with a tight hold on our New Year’s resolutions we may already have feelings of overwhelm and defeat. Yep, even on the 2nd day!  In my opinion, it’s not about hitting a weight goal, getting that promotion or looking like a “10” every time I leave the house. It’s about continuous growth in all ways possible to live a better, happier and more satisfying life. I’m not as far as I’d like to be, but I’ve come a long way, babes!

Happy New Year from my family to yours! Rayne Parvis, Goldie, Alley, Frida and Matt Parvis in Studio City, Ca.

Here are 3 easy way to be a “better you” by upping your game in 2018:

  1. Add a New Tool to Your Lifestyle: Write down 5 things you can learn that will make your life more stylish, fulfilling or a tad more awesome. What skill have you always wanted to have but have been scared to take the plunge? Pick at least one and do it! Sign up and pay for the training today. If you pay for it now, you will find time to make it happen. This may be taking a photography class at a local junior college, getting certified for that side hustle you’ve been thinking about or taking a sewing class so you can tailor your own clothes. Whatever your soul has been yearning for dive in. In December, I took a personal styling business class at School of Style. I’m already a certified Style Coach but the more I know about my craft the more I can give back to my clients and those around me. It’s always scary to invest a big chunk of change. My thoughts were what if I already know everything? What if it’s a waste of money? Blah, blah, blah. I was so inspired by learning new ways of doing business and services I’ve completely revamped my structure for Style By Rayne. Yay! 

    Rayne Parvis’ School of Style certification.
  2. Let Go of Whatever is Not Inspiring You: Before you can operate at your best, letting go of ill-fitting clothes, self-doubt, relationships you’re holding onto that no longer serve you or your universal purpose and whatever may be hanging out in your house…junk drawers, second bedroom that is filled with years of “maybe I’ll need that one day items” and/or storage units you’ve been paying monthly for that you haven’t been to in a decade. The less you are carrying into your future the more room you’ll have for new fabulousness. Whatever you need to do to get this done…do it darling! Take a look at a recent before and after a closet audit. Creating space is one of the keys to less stress for your mind. 

    Closet before and after with Rayne Parvis in Culver City, Ca.
  3. Hire Someone to Help You Be a Better You: When we try to save money and do everything ourselves we get less done. Admittedly, I am a total repeat offender in this category. I’m hiring a PR consultant to help me with PR…duh. Yes, I can sit there hour after hour, learning about this craft, read books on how to do it myself and spend endless hours researching who, what, when and where I should submit to. However, I don’t wanna! I’ve tried. I’d rather be shopping, volunteering or working on my business which I enjoy doing. What has taken me hours and hours to do, my PR expert knows the remedy and the future success recipe instantly. Another example, for my styling clients, I can take one look at a photo and know in under 3 seconds how we can improve their overall appearance. So, yes, hire that experienced expert to get you on your personal success track. Experts to consider; personal stylists(for real!), personal trainers, matchmakers, professional photographers for your business, branding agencies, nutritionist, professional organizers, dating coaches, interior designers and business coaches. Did I miss one? Leave in the comments below. 

May you all prosper and be a better you in 2018 and beyond. Check out my latest style expert spot, DATING, STYLE AND SEX RESOLUTIONS: EMPOWERING AIMS FOR 2018, on my dear friend and client’s award-winning podcast Girl Boner. No, it’s not as perverse as it may sound. It’s all about women empowerment in the bedroom and beyond. Woo-hoo! 

Rayne Parvis, August McLaughlin and Erin Tillman at Global Voice Broadcasting recording an episode of Girl Boner.

 

Bonus: Read You Are A Bad Ass and You Are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. She knows how to tell it like it is and get your badassery flowing. You all know I love self-help books to get you moving!

 

How To Silence Your Inner Mean Girl

If your inner mean girl won’t shut up …you’re not alone. Our thoughts about ourself affect the way we go about our day, how we treat others and have an over all influence on our life. In high school I was burdened gifted with a bust growth spurt. I went from an B to DD. I know a lot of women get their breast enhanced to have DD’s….but I hated them. My clothes had to altered to fit my size 4 bottom frame.  I would focus on how disproportion my body looked and was jealous of my friends who could wear all the cute spaghetti strap tank tops with no bra while I was in a “over the shoulder boulder holder”. The grass is always greener on the other side….so we think.

Rayne Parvis in highschool(left) and 15 years later (right) in Piper, Diane Van Furstenburg and Frederick's of Hollywood bra which she fit consulted on.
Rayne Parvis in highschool(left) and 15 years later (right) in Piper, Diane Von Furstenberg and Frederick’s of Hollywood bra which she fit consulted on.

Glamour magazine says that 97 percent of young women admitted to having at least one “I hate my body” moment daily. We are the beholders of our own beauty. By changing the way we see ourselves from “fat, not perfect, boring, ugly, plain, too skinny, short or not tall enough” to “unique, beautiful, perfect in imperfection and lookin’ amazing in these jeans” we can be filled with nurturing thoughts. We are one-of-a-special kind and designed for a positive purpose. As long as we are eating healthy, exercising and taking care of “us” we should accept “us”. Of the six billion people on this planet, there’s no one just like you. As one child put it, “God don’t make no junk.” So true!

Fav Quote

Back to My Voluptuous Figure:

In college I looked into getting a breast reduction. It was recommended I wait until I have children and it wouldn’t be covered by health insurance. Due to financial and baby carrying reasons I held off.

A few months later I answered an ad in Craigslist (before the murders), yes Craigslist, for fit models wanted by talent agency. I signed with Peak Models and Talent who then placed me with top clothing and lingerie companies. Because of my UNIQUE body type and bust size I booked a lot of jobs in the “DD+” niche (Frederick’s bra pictured above). Fit modeling and my big girls helped pay my way through school legitimately. Fit models make an estimated $100 an hour. Not bad for my least favorite body part.

Over a decade later, I’m still working (see photo below). Summers are always slow for businesses and fit consulting for clothing companies helps fill the financial void while all my past, present and future clients were on vacation. My point is: your oddity can become a IMPACTFUL commodity.

Leah Mineo, Rayne Parvis and Jenn Levy at The Venetian in Las Vegas for bachelorette party in 2015. (Rayne's bathing suit provided by Becca by Rebecca Virtue)
Leah Mineo, Rayne Parvis and Jenn Levy at The Venetian in Las Vegas for bachelorette party in 2015. (Blue bathing suit fit consulted by Rayne and provided by Becca by Rebecca Virtue).

When you appreciate and enhance your best traits you can dress, develop and embrace them to the fullest!  Oh, I also met one of my besties, Julie Docherty , modeling. Frida aka our first child was a wedding gift from her. Thank you Jesus for the”big bust” blessings; career in helping others, bestie, husband (one of my first clients) and dog. Amen!

Rayne, Frida and Matt Parvis celebrating their one year anniversary with Dom Perignon, Chipotle and a picnic in Studio City, CA.
Rayne, Frida and Matt Parvis celebrating their one year anniversary with Dom Perignon, Chipotle and a picnic in Studio City, CA.

For the record: I tailor most of my wardrobe which makes shopping more challenging. Being prepared eliminates giving up looking and feeling great, temper-tantrums and throwing on a wardrobe that just fits….and doesn’t flatter ninety percent of the time. Hey, I’m not perfect!

5 Recommended Readings For Silencing Your Inner Mean Girl:

  1. Beauty From Ashes by Joyce Meyer
  2. The Mind Connection by Joyce Meyer
  3. Creating a Charmed Life by Victoria Moran
  4. Goddesses Never Age by Christine Northrup, M.D. 
  5. Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab!(of course!) by Rayne Parvis and Nicole Drake

To learn more about ways to feel sexy no matter what your height or size, listen to our Girl Boner Chat with August McLaughlin here or watch the video here below. The episode also features Shannon Hammer, a healthy living advocate who overcame decades of disordered eating.

Shannon Hammer, August McLaughlin and Rayne Parvis at Global Voice Broadcasting recording Girl Boner radio.
Shannon Hammer, August McLaughlin and Rayne Parvis at Global Voice Broadcasting recording Girl Boner radio.

If you have any tips or favorite books that have changed your life please leave them in the comments below.

Yay you!

http://www.stylebyrayne.com

It's not about the Louboutins, it's the steps you take in them.

Tiffany Hendra and Rayne Hagstrom at America Radio Network
My mentor, friend, and colleague Tiffany Hendra and me (Rayne Hagstrom) at America Radio Network in Los Angeles, Ca right before our show.

This past Sunday, Tiffany Hendra and I, were guests on The Dating Advice Girl’s radio show with Erin Tillman. It was so much fun to sit back with two other tenacious women who are also on a mission to help people BE HAPPIER, HAVE MORE LOVE IN THEIR LIFE, AND EXUDE MORE CONFIDENCE.  13 Life Style Tips To Attract More Luck in Love link is up on iTunes and available for download.   You gotta listen! We were laughing, sharing personal stories, and great tips for LOVE AND LIFE in general.

After the show, Tiff, Erin, and I chilled in the studio and shared past experiences that have knocked down our dreams as “never going happen, waste of time, and it’s going to cost you a lot money because your concept/idea/brand sucks.” It was really comforting for all of us to have had the same set backs. We had been knocked down, got back up, brushed ourselves off, and went out to keep creating, learning, and honing our vision of what we want to do in the world. Our missions drive us to MAKE POSITIVE SH#T HAPPEN;)…no matter what.

Well, the “NAY-SAYERS” were wrong: Tiffany just reached 11,000 subscribers on Sanctuary of Style and is mentoring women all over the world, Erin’s radio and book career is flourishing, and I’m making HUGE progress weekly with my book, Ultimate Guide to Style:From Drab to Fab! and radio guest spots all over the U.S.A.. I’m not as far as I would like to be, but I am a heck of a lot closer than where I started!

Good times on the The Dating Advice Girl Radio Show on 99.3 KCLA FM Los Angeles.(Tiifany Hendra, Erin Tillman, Rayne Hagstrom)
Good times on the The Dating Advice Girl Radio Show on 99.3 KCLA FM Los Angeles.(Tiifany Hendra, Erin Tillman, Rayne Hagstrom)

I urge you to not let anyone persuade you into thinking you’re not good enough, talented enough, or pretty enough for success. Keep educating yourself, trying, meeting people in your same field who share similar missions, and GO GET EM’! Say “yes” to challenges and opportunities that are out of your comfort zone…it’s the only way to keep your SPIRIT growing and moving forward.

I feel so blessed to have so many people in my life that believe in me, and put so much effort and love into my dreams and goals of making people LOOK better and FEEL better than they ever thought they could. By books, radio shows, facebook posts, twitter, panel discussions, speeches, or by offering a  support system to a loved  one in your life, we MUST pursue our destiny with COURAGE, CONFIDENCE, and COMMITMENT.

Thank you to Tiff( I call her my FRIEND WITH BENEFITS. We work, play, inspire, share, and create together!), Erin, and all my other pals, Mattie, clients, friends, family, and acquaintances who give me a chance to be part of their world…because you make mine a BETTER ONE…just because your in it.  

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