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Is Your Ex’s Sentimental Pieces Hindering You From Moving Forward?

Some relationships end – with lovers, with loved ones, with dreams and with cities. If you’ve wished to unburden the emotional load by erasing everything that reminds you of that painful experience by throwing it all away – don’t. Donate it to the Museum of Broken Relationships – Museum on Broken Relationships 

Does this story sound familiar? My girlfriend recently broke up with her boyfriend. He initially stated that he was ready to give love another chance after having his heart broken. The ex used to live with him. My friend asked her new man if he still had any of his ex’s stuff in the house. He said, “no way!”. She said that the ex-girlfriend’s energy was so strong in the house that she just couldn’t stop thinking about her and contemplated whether or not he was seriously ready to move on. After an argument, he admitted he had a box of his ex-girlfriend’s stuff in the garage. My friend was more hurt by the lie than the act of him keeping the items. She also said that her strong feelings of the ex’s aura made sense. She ended up breaking off the relationship with him. Not just over the ex but over a combination of other reasons. However, his lie and reluctance to let go of the ex’s items confirmed, to her, he wasn’t ready for a new love.

I’m a firm believer of items holding energy, like my girlfriend. I say give those negative item/items a new home, get it the f*ck out & make space for a better tomorrow.  I recommend re-examining why you are still keeping this sentimental piece/pieces and if you are prepared to let go. If you’re not, I let my clients keep one, stressing on one, small box for those keepsake items. However, keeping an ex’s stuff that brings up a painful experience is different than holding on to your child’s first pair of shoes.

Do you have a chest, box, corner in your closet of items that reminds you of when “so and so” broke your heart too? Why not donate the items to the Museum of Broken Relationships? 

Rayne Parvis with bras someone’s ex’s bras from Museum on Broken Relationships that were submitted.

The Museum of Broken Relationships is a physical and virtual public space created with the sole purpose of treasuring and sharing your heartbreak stories and symbolic possessions. It is a museum about you, about us, about the ways we love and lose.I had the pleasure of meeting the fab director Alexis Hyde, getting a private tour and got to give my 2 cents of one of the most popular pieces (breast implants) for August Mclaughlin’s award winning blog and podcast, Girl Boner with my other longtime pal Erin Tillman of The Dating Advice Girl and writer Karina Wilson. Please check out her post with my two cents here; 

OBJECTS FROM BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS: TO KEEP OR NOT TO KEEP? + THE STORIES THEY TELL.

Karina Wilson, August McLaughlin, Erin Tillman and Rayne Parvis at Museum of Broken Relationships in Hollywood, CA.

Ps. I’m donating a piece that I can’t wait to get rid of from an ex-pal who broke my heart.  I hope this post inspires you to let something go that is no longer serving a purpose for you. What item are you holding onto? 

9 Unique New Year’s Resolutions to Rock Your World

It’s time to ring in 2016 in mind, body and style!

 

Feel Fab

What are our most common New Year’s goals? GO Banking Rates set out to find out what people were thinking about for New Year’s this year. A survey of over 5,000 people, over 45% said living life to its fullest was their top resolution.

Here’s how the survey results broke down:

Americans’ 2016 New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Enjoy life to the fullest (45.7%)
  • Live a healthier lifestyle (41.1%)
  • Lose weight (39.6%)
  • Spend more time with family and friends (33.2%)
  • Save more, spend less (30.1%)
  • Pay down debt (27.5%)

Studies have shown that only 8% of us actually reach our goals. How sad! When you start the New Year and try to make numerous life altering changes we may fail at one which then seems to create a domino effect…so keep it simple.

How do we “live life to the fullest”? I reached out to on of my gal pals, radio host and author August McLaughlin, to help introduce us to NEW RESOLUTIONS that will not only help us live happier lives but will help others as well. She asks, “What can we do to live better? Bolder? Happier? What are we willing to face, change, sacrifice or embrace? These questions paired with action can make the hum drum extraordinary, the pretty-darn-good freaking awesome and, if the masses partake, the whole world a better place.”

Frida, Rayne Parvis and August McLaughlin getting some girl time in.
Frida, Rayne Parvis and August McLaughlin getting some girl time in.

I’m not suggesting to toss the above usual resolutions…but religiously work on one or two and add some unique ones to help you be a BETTER YOU year round. In my opinion, we all could use a resolution makeover!

9 New Year’s Resolutions/Mind Changers to Add to Your Repertoire From Us to You:

1. Stop telling yourself you’re too ________ (old, fat, boring, ugly…). 

2. Do something that scares you every day, week or month. If you live a mundane life you will get mundane results. Live a little more! Petting the adult leopard(shown below) scared the sh*t out of me. I was so happy I did it!

Rayne and friends petting a leopard in Ensenada, Mexico.
Rayne and friends petting a leopard in Ensenada, Mexico.

3. Pursue your passions in life. Yes, you may be thinking …duh! Even if you have a 9-5 job, 3 kids and a family member to take care. Sketch out some time for you. Maybe hire a baby-sitter or help to give you more time to pursue a passion. If not now, then when?

4. Shake it Off.  Your friends, family and co-workers will most likely at one time offend you. I’ve had friends not talk to me for years because of a misunderstood text message or comment. It breaks my heart every time. Forget that one comment, email etc. and allow others to be human and not act how you prefer every second. I am finally at a time in my life, that I am no longer easily offended. Amen and thank you Joyce Meyer for helping me with this! If anyone feel like calling me a name, punching me in the face or taking something out on me…go for it and I’ll still love ya. Hahahah!

5. Take an inventory of your sex life. Gotta love August for this one! We can’t hope to improve that which we don’t acknowledge. Being married, sex can sometimes feel like a chore. Make an effort to enjoy sex with your spouse more often. Studies have shown sex helps you live a longer and healthier life. Bow chicka wow wow!

6. Tithe. In November 2014, I made an commitment to give a portion of my income to “helping the world” institutions like Treasures, Joyce Meyer Ministries, churches I frequent and animal shelters.  I can truthfully say that 2015 has been the most financial successful year for me….and I enjoyed giving. Even if you don’t go to church look for people or charities that need your help and watch the universe/God bless you. Giving is the best gift!

7. Wear Something that Brings You Joy Everyday. Choose colors, prints, shapes and/or your favorite ________ that makes you happy. For example, in addition to the above I also wear Christmas socks year round. When I slip into the red, green and white softness it brings a smile to my face.

8. Compliment; Don’t Fault Find. Give your friends and family the freedom to be themselves. Remember, no one is perfect! Focus on one’s positives not their negatives. We’ve all managed to focus on the good and forget  forgive the bad for life long GOOD TIMES(Christmas family photo below).

Rayne's family and life long friends taking a Christmas photo in 2015 on a Carnival Cruise.
Rayne’s family and life long friends taking a Christmas photo in 2015 on a Carnival Cruise.

9. Embrace your body as is. Yes, experts recommend exercising regularly but that doesn’t mean you have to wait till that “perfect” weight to feel fab NOW.

For more FEEL GOOD suggestions  join us in celebrating 100 episodes of August McLaughlin’s  ‪#‎GirlBonerRadio‬! I loved turning the tables and interviewing her about, EMBRACEABLE, all-things-GB, her modeling days and more. Plus, hearDr. Megan Fleming‘s tips for relationship goals in the new year and her favorite perks of the show. Fun, fun!

August and Rayne recording Girl Boner's 100th Episode at Global Voice Broadcasting.
August Mclaughlin and Rayne Parvis recording Girl Boner’s 100th Episode at Global Voice Broadcasting in Studio City, CA.

Listen on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/celebrating-100-epi…/id814715884…

Listen on Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=41785098

If you’d like to read Embraceable, hop over to Amazon (CLICK HERE) to grab your Kindle copy. Totally worth reading!

Embraceable book cover red

 

Have a very happy and EMBRACEABLE New Year!

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How To Silence Your Inner Mean Girl

If your inner mean girl won’t shut up …you’re not alone. Our thoughts about ourself affect the way we go about our day, how we treat others and have an over all influence on our life. In high school I was burdened gifted with a bust growth spurt. I went from an B to DD. I know a lot of women get their breast enhanced to have DD’s….but I hated them. My clothes had to altered to fit my size 4 bottom frame.  I would focus on how disproportion my body looked and was jealous of my friends who could wear all the cute spaghetti strap tank tops with no bra while I was in a “over the shoulder boulder holder”. The grass is always greener on the other side….so we think.

Rayne Parvis in highschool(left) and 15 years later (right) in Piper, Diane Van Furstenburg and Frederick's of Hollywood bra which she fit consulted on.
Rayne Parvis in highschool(left) and 15 years later (right) in Piper, Diane Von Furstenberg and Frederick’s of Hollywood bra which she fit consulted on.

Glamour magazine says that 97 percent of young women admitted to having at least one “I hate my body” moment daily. We are the beholders of our own beauty. By changing the way we see ourselves from “fat, not perfect, boring, ugly, plain, too skinny, short or not tall enough” to “unique, beautiful, perfect in imperfection and lookin’ amazing in these jeans” we can be filled with nurturing thoughts. We are one-of-a-special kind and designed for a positive purpose. As long as we are eating healthy, exercising and taking care of “us” we should accept “us”. Of the six billion people on this planet, there’s no one just like you. As one child put it, “God don’t make no junk.” So true!

Fav Quote

Back to My Voluptuous Figure:

In college I looked into getting a breast reduction. It was recommended I wait until I have children and it wouldn’t be covered by health insurance. Due to financial and baby carrying reasons I held off.

A few months later I answered an ad in Craigslist (before the murders), yes Craigslist, for fit models wanted by talent agency. I signed with Peak Models and Talent who then placed me with top clothing and lingerie companies. Because of my UNIQUE body type and bust size I booked a lot of jobs in the “DD+” niche (Frederick’s bra pictured above). Fit modeling and my big girls helped pay my way through school legitimately. Fit models make an estimated $100 an hour. Not bad for my least favorite body part.

Over a decade later, I’m still working (see photo below). Summers are always slow for businesses and fit consulting for clothing companies helps fill the financial void while all my past, present and future clients were on vacation. My point is: your oddity can become a IMPACTFUL commodity.

Leah Mineo, Rayne Parvis and Jenn Levy at The Venetian in Las Vegas for bachelorette party in 2015. (Rayne's bathing suit provided by Becca by Rebecca Virtue)
Leah Mineo, Rayne Parvis and Jenn Levy at The Venetian in Las Vegas for bachelorette party in 2015. (Blue bathing suit fit consulted by Rayne and provided by Becca by Rebecca Virtue).

When you appreciate and enhance your best traits you can dress, develop and embrace them to the fullest!  Oh, I also met one of my besties, Julie Docherty , modeling. Frida aka our first child was a wedding gift from her. Thank you Jesus for the”big bust” blessings; career in helping others, bestie, husband (one of my first clients) and dog. Amen!

Rayne, Frida and Matt Parvis celebrating their one year anniversary with Dom Perignon, Chipotle and a picnic in Studio City, CA.
Rayne, Frida and Matt Parvis celebrating their one year anniversary with Dom Perignon, Chipotle and a picnic in Studio City, CA.

For the record: I tailor most of my wardrobe which makes shopping more challenging. Being prepared eliminates giving up looking and feeling great, temper-tantrums and throwing on a wardrobe that just fits….and doesn’t flatter ninety percent of the time. Hey, I’m not perfect!

5 Recommended Readings For Silencing Your Inner Mean Girl:

  1. Beauty From Ashes by Joyce Meyer
  2. The Mind Connection by Joyce Meyer
  3. Creating a Charmed Life by Victoria Moran
  4. Goddesses Never Age by Christine Northrup, M.D. 
  5. Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab!(of course!) by Rayne Parvis and Nicole Drake

To learn more about ways to feel sexy no matter what your height or size, listen to our Girl Boner Chat with August McLaughlin here or watch the video here below. The episode also features Shannon Hammer, a healthy living advocate who overcame decades of disordered eating.

Shannon Hammer, August McLaughlin and Rayne Parvis at Global Voice Broadcasting recording Girl Boner radio.
Shannon Hammer, August McLaughlin and Rayne Parvis at Global Voice Broadcasting recording Girl Boner radio.

If you have any tips or favorite books that have changed your life please leave them in the comments below.

Yay you!

http://www.stylebyrayne.com

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