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3 Ways to Up Your Game in the New Year

Happy New Year from my family to yours! I hope you all had a fabulous holiday and New Year’s Eve. As we strut into January with a tight hold on our New Year’s resolutions we may already have feelings of overwhelm and defeat. Yep, even on the 2nd day!  In my opinion, it’s not about hitting a weight goal, getting that promotion or looking like a “10” every time I leave the house. It’s about continuous growth in all ways possible to live a better, happier and more satisfying life. I’m not as far as I’d like to be, but I’ve come a long way, babes!

Happy New Year from my family to yours! Rayne Parvis, Goldie, Alley, Frida and Matt Parvis in Studio City, Ca.

Here are 3 easy way to be a “better you” by upping your game in 2018:

  1. Add a New Tool to Your Lifestyle: Write down 5 things you can learn that will make your life more stylish, fulfilling or a tad more awesome. What skill have you always wanted to have but have been scared to take the plunge? Pick at least one and do it! Sign up and pay for the training today. If you pay for it now, you will find time to make it happen. This may be taking a photography class at a local junior college, getting certified for that side hustle you’ve been thinking about or taking a sewing class so you can tailor your own clothes. Whatever your soul has been yearning for dive in. In December, I took a personal styling business class at School of Style. I’m already a certified Style Coach but the more I know about my craft the more I can give back to my clients and those around me. It’s always scary to invest a big chunk of change. My thoughts were what if I already know everything? What if it’s a waste of money? Blah, blah, blah. I was so inspired by learning new ways of doing business and services I’ve completely revamped my structure for Style By Rayne. Yay! 

    Rayne Parvis’ School of Style certification.
  2. Let Go of Whatever is Not Inspiring You: Before you can operate at your best, letting go of ill-fitting clothes, self-doubt, relationships you’re holding onto that no longer serve you or your universal purpose and whatever may be hanging out in your house…junk drawers, second bedroom that is filled with years of “maybe I’ll need that one day items” and/or storage units you’ve been paying monthly for that you haven’t been to in a decade. The less you are carrying into your future the more room you’ll have for new fabulousness. Whatever you need to do to get this done…do it darling! Take a look at a recent before and after a closet audit. Creating space is one of the keys to less stress for your mind. 

    Closet before and after with Rayne Parvis in Culver City, Ca.
  3. Hire Someone to Help You Be a Better You: When we try to save money and do everything ourselves we get less done. Admittedly, I am a total repeat offender in this category. I’m hiring a PR consultant to help me with PR…duh. Yes, I can sit there hour after hour, learning about this craft, read books on how to do it myself and spend endless hours researching who, what, when and where I should submit to. However, I don’t wanna! I’ve tried. I’d rather be shopping, volunteering or working on my business which I enjoy doing. What has taken me hours and hours to do, my PR expert knows the remedy and the future success recipe instantly. Another example, for my styling clients, I can take one look at a photo and know in under 3 seconds how we can improve their overall appearance. So, yes, hire that experienced expert to get you on your personal success track. Experts to consider; personal stylists(for real!), personal trainers, matchmakers, professional photographers for your business, branding agencies, nutritionist, professional organizers, dating coaches, interior designers and business coaches. Did I miss one? Leave in the comments below. 

May you all prosper and be a better you in 2018 and beyond. Check out my latest style expert spot, DATING, STYLE AND SEX RESOLUTIONS: EMPOWERING AIMS FOR 2018, on my dear friend and client’s award-winning podcast Girl Boner. No, it’s not as perverse as it may sound. It’s all about women empowerment in the bedroom and beyond. Woo-hoo! 

Rayne Parvis, August McLaughlin and Erin Tillman at Global Voice Broadcasting recording an episode of Girl Boner.

 

Bonus: Read You Are A Bad Ass and You Are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. She knows how to tell it like it is and get your badassery flowing. You all know I love self-help books to get you moving!

 

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3 Horrifying Facts About The Fashion Industry

While researching animal-friendly fashion companies that give back for my KCAL 9 style expert spot I came across companies promoting “sustainable and eco-friendly” fashion including Bead and Reel. Which got me down an “Google” rabbit hole of horrifying facts about how our “fast fashion” shopping habits are contributing to the earth’s pollution, taking away business from artisans as well as still torturing animals. Fast fashion is a contemporary term used by fashion retailers to express that designs move from catwalk quickly to capture current fashion trends like Forever 21, Wet Seal, Zara and H&M in cheaply made and inexpensive ways. 

1. The U.S. sends away a full billion pounds of used clothing per year, making it our eighth largest export — where clothes are bought in 1,000-pound bales, sorted and then resold to the local populace, sometimes wreaking havoc on local industries by taking jobs away from local textile workers, Fashionista wrote. 

2. Eleven percent of donations made to Goodwill in 2014, for example, were deemed unsaleable and carted to landfills — about 22 million pounds in all — costing the organization millions of dollars in transport fees and other expenses.

3. Electrocuting fur-bearing animals anally and genitally is an agonizing slaughter method used frequently to limit damage to fur. New York is the only state in which this inhumane method is illegal, Peta stated. 

Holy cow! This is so sad and horrifying. With us being in the biggest shopping season of the year I wanted to offer us more facts and alternative options. For some, it’s not about eliminating certain ways to shop completely just being more mindful and choosing wisely when you can. I reached out to Sica, owner of http://www.BeadAndReel.com for her advice on what we can do to and to break it down for us in simple terms helping us to shop smarter. 

1. What is considered ethical and sustainable?

This is a tough question because there is no universally accepted definition for either, and most brands and people have their own interpretations – which can vary drastically! For me, “ethical” is really just the Golden Rule – it’s eating, buying, and interacting in a respectful way because that’s how I would want to be treated. It’s taking into account the people, the animals, and the environments touch through my choices, and trying to be as gentle and mindful of them as possible. 

My favorite definition of “sustainable” is: meeting our own needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs. To me, that means using fewer resources, replenishing what we do use, and supporting women and vulnerable populations to build economies to allow for prosperous future generations. 

2. What are your thoughts on the 3 facts? 

I think they are very important for everyone to know!

Overconsumption is a massive problem, which leads to environmental issues, garment worker exploitation, and also just a general sense of nothing ever being enough. It’s not good for anyone! And the solution is really simple: just buy less, and love and use the things you already have. 

Regarding fur, it is an absolutely horrific and archaic industry and I truly can’t believe that in 2017 it’s still up for debate. I think it’s also important to note that all animal fibers come from really ugly origins. Leather, wool, silk, bone – the means with which these are acquired are equally disturbing, and so the best way to avoid supporting this kind of unnecessary cruelty is to simply shop vegan fashion from companies like mine, Bead & Reel!

3. How can we shop smarter?

My number one piece of shopping advice is: buy less or buy second hand before considering buying new. There is enough unwanted clothing for everyone in America to only wear second hand! Most of us are blessed with far more fashion that we ever actually need (or wear), and we’re trained to want more, to want new trends, to want new things. I love changing up my wardrobe as much as the next woman, but when I do I buy something I make sure it meets my own values (no sweatshops, no animals) and it also will be both a style and a quality that will last me for a long time. I love the #30Wears project which encourages you only buy something you plan to wear 30 times! I recommend giving that challenge a try. 

Photo credit: ClassicCotton.org.

4. How does Bead and Reel follow these guidelines?

Bead & Reel is entirely vegan, entirely sweatshop-free, and focuses on 15 different ethics which customers can shop by to support their values (like Organic, or Female Founder). My goal with my store is really to empower consumers to put into action the things they believe in and use their purchasing power to vote for the world they want to live in, whether that’s more kindness towards people, animals, or our planet (or, all of it!).  

5. What do you wish the American population was more informed about?

I wish more people understood the ways in which the fashion industry exploits and suppresses women. I hear so much talk about female empowerment and feminism – and I adore both! But until American consumers stop buying fashion made in sweatshops – which is how most fashion is made, and it mostly made by young, underpaid women – we aren’t going to see equality or equity. 

If we want to close the wage gap or stop the devaluing of female bodies, we have to stop supporting them with our regular fashion purchases. 

6. How can we get in touch with you?

I’m easy to get in touch with! You can email me at hello@beadandreel.com, you can find me on Instagram (@beadandreel, @sica_schmitz), Twitter (@beadandreel, @sicaschmitz), or Facebook, and you can sign up for my newsletter to find out about my regular sustainable fashion events from swaps to fashion shows(happening this Sunday!). 

7. What are your top gift picks for the holiday season?

The average American consumer will spend almost $1,000 on gifts this holiday season, so I recommend voting with your wallet and putting that money towards the world you want to live in. The best gift we can give to those we love is a kinder, more just world, and so I’ve made two gift guides, one about fair trade and vegan gifts for activists and one about fair trade and vegan gifts from women owned businesses

 And when in doubt, foster an orphan elephant at the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Kenya! I have fostered an elephant there for years and it’s truly the best gift I’ve ever received. 

Sustainable fashion items from BeadandReal.com.

 Thank you, Sica, for all this fashionable information. I hope we all can learn from Sica’s advice and make better purchases not only for ourselves but for the world. Happy “sustainable” shopping and repurposing everyone!

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Should You Take a Break From Social Media?

One of the things I believe in is having a healthy mind, body, and style. If an element is missing it can increase your anxiety throughout the day. For me, my Instagram was causing me a lot of stress. After doing research, I realized I wasn’t the only one. According to many google searches and studies social media can be used for good as well as cause feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness and fear of missing out. Keep reading to find out if a break will do you some good. 

Before I go over the signs I wanted to give you a little backstory. Last year I took Hilary Rushford’s Instagram with Intention class(because my IG didn’t reflect my stylish skills). However, I became addicted to my new skill set of “Instagramming with Intention”. Like the studies suggested, I was experiencing social media overload with all the feelings mentioned above. I decided to take a 30-day social media break. At first, it wasn’t easy but I did it! 

If you have any of these signs it may be time to rethink your social media views:

  1. It’s the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before bedtime. In addition, you check your account many MANY times per day. 
  2. You think in #hashtags. 
  3. When you arrive at a destination, you take multiple photos of where you are to make sure you get a great one you can post…at any costs. 
  4. You feel the need to post every day. If you don’t, you feel like you’re missing out, not being productive and everyone else is “working/having fun/doing cool stuff” and you’re not. 
  5. Social media is considered to be your extra-curricular activity over your previous hobbies. You may have family members ask you “on the phone again?”. 
  6. You’re late to work, parties, work out less or procrastinate your to-do lists because you’re posting, liking and commenting. 
  7. If you don’t get a certain number of likes on a post…you feel like a loser. Then go like other people’s photos till you hit your number to feel better about yourself. This is the worst! We are more than our social media. 

If you have any of these symptoms please consider taking a break too! We will all be here when you come back. During my 30 day detox, I felt entirely free. I didn’t have to worry about getting stylish photos, looking perfect and or what everyone else was up to. I focused on those around me, God and doing other things I have enjoyed doing. 

When I came back I was nervous I would slip back into my anxious routine. It takes about 21-30 days to break a habit and I think I’ve broken it. I post less and don’t feel bad about it. My loved ones are grateful I don’t bombard them, as much ;), to take photos for social media. In addition, I feel better all around! Please note, everyone is different. Some can healthily use social media and many need help. If this is you, take a break! 

For more information and discussion about my social media break check out my interview on Dr. Jane Greer’s Shrink Wrap radio show. 

PS. Be sure to remove temptations. Remove your apps from your phone and clear your history on your computer. Out of sight out of mind. For the first few days, you may find yourself filling the void with online shopping or checking gossip sites like TMZ. This is normal. Your phone has to be only used for necessary reasons. Don’t use it as a time filler. If you’re bored take a walk, read a book or get to those projects you’ll be procrastinating on. 

Let me know what you’ve accomplished and how you feel. My dear friend said she felt amazing and cleaned-out a back room that was a disaster for the past 7 years. We both also hung pictures we had on our floors for years too! What will do on your break? I want to know. 

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